January 16, 2009

Nick Cannon is an Idiot

I don't know what I was reading the other day but I just found out that before marrying the mentally challenged Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon was engaged to Selita Ebanks. Who, you ask? Instead of being crazy and fat she just happens to be a Victoria's Secret and SI Swimsuit model. And heres visual proof:


Who does what this man did? I would assume he had one reason for marrying Carey. He wanted to do the hot girl in all those music videos when he was 12. Unfortunately for Nick, she is now almost 40 and looks like she ate sandbags for breakfast. "Hey Nick, grab the syrup honey, these Sand Bags are a little dry."

Selita was also younger than Nick by 4 years. So instead of dating one of the hottest women in the world who is also younger, and will stay hot for an indeterminate amount of time he married Mariah. I would assume he was lured in by one of her 8 personalities. Damn, that bitch is crazy.

What would you rather have? This drunken whale:


Or this Angelic Beauty?:

Ok, sorry, I'm done with my rant. I was just really pissed when I read that. Nick Cannon, you're an idiot.
Posted by Chode at 1/16/2009

1 comment:

  1. MikeJanuary 16, 2009 at 3:05 PM

    I couldn't agree more, but the fact that you typed out the "Sandbag" piece is absolutely histerical! I don't know that you could have found any better picture of Mariah to prove your point for your "rant".

    Great work once again. Nick Cannon is a moron and should be required to cut his balls off so he can't procreate with that psychopath Mariah Carey. I bet her home address is:

    5300 Arsenal St.
    St. Louis, MO 63139

    *if you don't know where that is, mapquest it.

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