Christmas Eve's Eve

Due to the absolute smashing that took place on Tuesday night, and I am not talking about a basketball game, I thought I would do my best to write a recap of one of the best nights I had in St. Louis in 2008. Here is how the night started. After leaving work at around 5 p.m. I headed over to Syberg's on Dorsett Rd were Chad and I had decided to meet to watch the Mizzou verse Illinois game. I called Chad and he was going to be a little late, because he was going to wait on Morgan who was finishing "The Best French Dip in the World" with his dad. I text Pat and he told me he would be there around 7. So I decided to go straight there regardless of how early I would be there. I ordered a bucket and sat there alone waiting for people to show and text other people to try and get a nice rounded out group. I was able to recruit Lakers and Melissa, and T-Lang joined. After watching the first half of the Mizzou game things began to get weird. The game was so bad ESPN began just cutting away to other games. You can imagine the level of drinking Chad took it to at this point. Around this time I get a call from Kevin who has been playing drunk Laser tag with his work family at Adrenaline Zone. Kevin shows up about 10 mins later and is on Becks level ready to make the Big G transition without a problem. It's around this point that Sybergs announces that for the next hour there will be one dollar beers. Seeing that we are already about 10 buckets in we decide to take them up on the $1 beers. It is at this point that the night really turned. No one at out table had any idea what was in store for us. To our surprise Karaoke night opens up with a bang. The first guy is good, the second guy knocks it out and the third chick lays it down. Everyone at the table begins to wonder what the fuck is going on. Everyone going up is just hitting home runs. We decide we have to get in on this. Kevin, Chad and I decide to give Wonderwall a go. I think some of you got text at this point. So 10 good karaoke singers, 3 asses, and 5 rounds of dollar beers later we are feeling pretty good. This is when the DJ, who sounds exactly like a strip club DJ, announces round two will start after the break same order as round one. Well not knowing we were supposed two prepare two songs for the night Kevin, Chad and I start the wheels. We decide on the Fray "Over my Head." It's at this point we have moved on to $2 Budweiser products. So we order more drinks and prepare for out spot in about the 8 hole. The crowd at this point has gained some life and people are dancing more and really exploring the space. This girl named Katie decides to come dance in front of the stage which is right were we are sitting. She pulls me up on stage to dance with her so I take this chance to do some really good creepin. After touching her as inappropriately as possible she goes back and gathers some of her friends. She then tells me that the DJ won't let her and her friends sing because they don't have time or room. She asked me what we are sing and I explain we are singing the Fray and she asked if I will change it to Mr. Big. Usually I would have no problem with this change, but Kevin has promised a performance and was even talking tears. Quick side note, at one point Kevin farted and almost knocked a guy out. He had some stuff going on that was just amazing. So Katie, asked if we will call them up to sing with us. I say yes and she says to call for Katie, Tori, Elizabeth, and Megan. I go back and tell Kevin about this and his only response is "I'll fuck Tori, I've always wanted to fuck a Tori." So we get called up and are taking our places and the girls come up. At this point Katie comes and grabs the mic I am on and asked one more time if I will change the song to the Mr. Big and I say no, and Katie fires back with this line, "Do you want to get laid tonight?" I immediately turn to the DJ and let him know that he will be firing up Mr. Big. That goes as well as it could and at the end of the song she looks at me and says lets make out. I agree and I go in for the kiss and it is awful. So we are walking off stage to our table and all the girls are still hanging around, Chad has slithered up to his prey, Elizabeth, and Kevin is trying to find Tori. I am going on about how bad the kiss was when Katie says I wasn't even trying, grabs me and jams her tongue down my throat. She asked, "How was that?" I looked at her and said, "So So." She then walked away and joined some friends back over by her tables and Chad pointed out some dude and her were yelling at each other. We never got to the bottom of what happened. We left the bar shortly after this and Chad and Elizabeth were now hand and hand. While out side something magical and amazing happens. First we start just asking random girls if they want to go to the East side (Larry's) with us. Normally failure would be eminent and we would end up alone, but not this magical Tuesday night. These two chicks want to go with us but we have to bring her little brother. Not a big deal at all. Well while this is going on her little brother is trying to get Katie to come and grabs her wrist. She decides to go Van Dam on this guy and starts punching him. Not like shots to the arm or anything but full on running at him and jacking him in the face.
At this point I got hard and Kevin says, "Yeah she's normal, not a psycho at all." I look and Kevin and I say, "I think I am in love." This girl looked like Lakers attacking a Kong Burger. Never stood a chance. One of the bouncers is outside and tells everyone to get going and that Katie has to leave now for assaulting the kid and at this point I know I missed a true shot at love. The girls we have recruited to go to the clubs tell us to follow them to their house so they can drop off their car and ride with us. The only interesting part of the drive is at the girls house when one of them is walking to Chad's car and JUST EATS SHIT. We go to the clubs and half of us just walk in without paying. "No need here for the silly games." At the strip club we find out that the two random girls like to go there all the time, one has her clit and both nipple pierced, one lives in Australia right now, and they hook up with each other alot. Oh yeah and the chick giving massages for $10 a song is rocking F's, and I am not talking about her 8th grade testing scores. After just the right amount of creepin I convince her to let me touch all over them. It was like holding a basketball that isn't quite inflated all the way. You know it will still bounce but you have to give it a little more ummph to get it to bounce all they way back up. Yeah like that. Kevin has also decided that instead of wasting his time trying out the girls at the different tables he will just send me. So Kevin hands me two dollars and says, "You think that girl right there is any good? Go give it a run." I do my duty as a good friend and give her a test run. I give my report to Kevin and we move on. After a short make out session between Chad and Elizabeth, we decided to hit the road. To end the night on a really good note we decide to go with a little Enrique and just blow it out.

I know that phone calls were made to Sally and Jackie, and from what I have heard they were pretty good. I don't really remember much after leaving the strip club, but I do know I had awesome cramps. That is when you do so many awesome things in one night and you start cramping up cause you are filled with awesome. That was a really long post but it was the best Tuesday night of 2008 for me.