Matchup of the Week

In light of the Playboy.com survey, today's match up will pit the obvious top two sexiest sportscasters in that lineup. Erin Andrews vs. Molly Sullivan. I would say Playboy should just have matched these two up. As always, voting can be done on the right.

Molly Sullivan






Erin Andrews






Obviously, Ms. Sullivan's pics are more professional and she seems to be cosmetically enhanced (not that there's anything wrong w/ that). So try to envision Erin in a studio in all her silicon-free glory.

Molly Sullivan is or was on an E! show called Paradise City. Had never heard of it till I searched her name. Here's a clip from The Soup where they make fun of her and the show.



And to be fair to Erin. Here's a video of her... and Bruce Pearl trying to &%*! her.

Super Bowl

http://www.jockandballs.com/2009/01/super-bowl-xliii-drinking-game.html

hmmmm... can we all meet in columbia for the super bowl and play this game??? i swear, i will take off school til thursday because this game sounds UNREAL!!!!

Bud Bowl 2009 Secret Spot

Want to see the 2009 Bud Bowl Secret Spot? Budweiser is currently running a campaign with a secret commercial on a special website. In order to see it, you needed to do the following :

Want to be one of the first to see the 2009 Bud Bowl Secret Spot? Register your mobile number below. Then, sometime during the week of January 19th, you will receive a unique code via SMS text that will unlock the spot!

However through the magic of Youtube, you need not register with them to see it, because we have it here:




That was pretty good, but not sure if it is worth giving Budweiser and Sharp your mobile number. Here is the “Secret Spot” from last year :





Here are some good ones from years past. The swear jar might be the best one ever.

Beckham Scores his Second for Milan

How do you score from this angle? Just won a Beckham long sleeved Milan jersey off ebay for $15... let's hope it's not uber-fake. Maybe I'll be able to hit the piss out of the ball and my package will grow by three inches and I'll have ladies all over me every time I wear it. Doubtful.

I Want to Taste Your Sugar Lumps

I'm Screwed

I just read an article that says masturbation is linked to prostate cancer. This sucks. The only joy I have in life will lead to my ultimate doom. Might as well go happy, right? The article says that men in their 20s and 30s who masturbate frequently have a higher risk of developing cancer. The University of Nottingham (obviously the Brits had to bring us down) studied 800 men, about half who had prostate cancer. I don't know how they differentiated between the two but the article stated that intercourse increased the chances of cancer as well, but "self-love" had a higher increase in cases. Maybe it's from all the force and pressure put on the member while wailing away at yourself? They should do a separate study on whether lube helps out the cause, closer to a real life simulation? I bet KY could make some serious cash if they could prove that lubing up before popping off decreased your chance of being diagnosed w/ prostate cancer.

Ironically enough, I still have something to live for, the study also said that men who masturbate past their 40s have a decreased chance of prostate cancer. So, tug away today... and keep on tugging until your wife won't give you any, and you'll pretty much break even.

Kansas is the Gayest School Ever

Rob is Coming Back to MTV!

As many of you know, I think Rob Dyrdek might be the coolest guy in the world. Everything I have ever seen him do is hysterical, and he is a lyricist. Everything he says just sounds cool. "I'm so icy, I'm flossy." I don't even know what that means but it's HOT! Apparently a few months ago he told a buddy of his that he'd sell his "Murdered Out" Tahoe for $26,000 in one dollar bills. He was joking, but they took it seriously. Here is the video of the cash delivery. Also, he said on his website that he will no longer murder out vehicles. From now he is "Stormtroop'n" them. How F-ing awesome is that?



To continue my love fest, this next video is a video shoot his company, DC shoes did. He says on his site that all these shots were actually made and that a skate shoe company cannot afford CGI effects. Now, I don't know if I believe that, since he just throws around 26 grand, makes it rain w/ 5 grand, buys 20 thousand dollar helicopters, buys mini horses, murals everything, etc, etc, etc. He wrote that it took him 2 hours to make the front slide board shot he makes in this video. If it's real, this is pretty cool. This video is apparently a few years old, but I had never seen it (or at least didn't remember seeing it).



And here is where you can get his "Gun Show" shirt/hoody. http://www.roguestatus.com/ (I can't get the hyperlinks to work b/c I'm a retard, so just copy and paste)

And as luck would have it, after writing the previous post I did some research and Rob is coming back to MTV! He has a new show airing on Sunday's at 9et starting February 8th. Here's the description:

ROB DYRDEK'S FANTASY FACTORY- 9:00PM ET/PT

After the success of "Rob & Big," ingenious skateboarder
Rob Dyrdek is ready to become the Willy Wonka of Skateboarding in "
Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory." The Fantasy Factory is a 25,000 square foot industrial-complex-turned-funhouse designed to expand the reaches of Rob's skateboard empire, known as Dyrdek Enterprises. The heart of the Fantasy Factory is Rob's office that sits atop the world's first indoor concrete skate plaza — a place where anything Rob imagines can become reality. Rob continues to chase down his dreams in his own outlandish way, whether strapping on bouncy stilts to take on Lakers' Lamar Odom in a game of one-on-one basketball(a potential investor for Rob's co-owned restaurant), or enlisting longtime friend and skateboarding superstar Danny Way to help break the world's land-speed record on a skateboard. Rob's cousin Drama returns as Rob's nave, beat-upon whipping boy and personal assistant. As Rob fills his new digs with zip-lines, foam pits, skate ramps, and a "T Rex" (a cross between the Batmobile and a Stormtrooper), Rob will also look to fellow action sports friends, including Travis Pastrana, Paul Rodriguez, Steve Berra, Ken Block and Danny Way, to help him on his journey to make as many fantasies as he can come true.


Here's the aforementioned T Rex


And here's his new Stormtroop'd "whip"


And to top it all off... based on this clip it looks as though he got a new puppy.

Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory - MTV Shows

Another Buzzer Beater

Duke is No. 1

This is for all you Dukies out there. Regardless if you're a fan or not, I thought this was pretty funny. I didn't know Goats just fell over like this. The more you know...

Sexiest Sportscaster?

Playboy.com has released it's finalist for Sexiest Sportscaster. You can vote here if you wish. www.playboy.com/arts-entertainment/features/sexiest-sportscaster-2009

The finalists:

Bonnie Bernstein


Charissa Thompson


Erin Andrews


Lauren Shehadi


Molly Sullivan


John Madden

Carlton Teaches you to Break and Pop

If this weren't from 25 years ago, I'd have this playing in my VHS and record player right now. This is radical.

Lonely Island Coming out with Album

Apparently Andy Samberg's Lonely Island is "dropping" an album on February 10th. It's called INCREDIBAD, and will probably have some funny Shit.

Fat Guy Crying b/c Giants are NOT in Super Bowl

null - Watch more free videos

Is this serious? This fat bastard can't live w/o the Giants being in the Super Bowl. I love how girls are egging him on and then the guy at the end.

And this kid had a rebuttal to all the internet hype:

Think of something more to say then just fat jokes. I realize I’m fat, in that I am the one putting the fattening foods, into my fat mouth…By all means, say what makes you people feel good, but it doesn’t have an impact on me in the slightest. This is making me a celebrity..so by all means continue….I weigh 250 pounds, maybe a few pounds more. I know what I am. I LOVE Big Mac’s and I will continue to devour them as I see fit. I was just simply referencing to the fact that I don’t need to be told that I am fat, because, well, I realize the sentiments and quite frankly, that’s me and that’s fine. I’m a fat fuck and whatever the case may be, but that doesn’t stop me from hanging out with my large group of friends, some of whom were even referred to as “banging”… Holding an overflowing cauldron of love, Rob.

You're a Master of Karate and Friendship

The death of Nighman and the birth of Dayman from IntgrScienceFilms on Vimeo.

I Thought This Stuff Only Happened in Goonies

World's Scariest Bridge - Watch more Free Videos

I don't even know if Goonies had a bridge like this, but it should. As the lady describing the Obama's sex life would say, "Are you fist f-ing me?". There isn't a chance in hell I would cross this bridge. But that's also b/c I have a gash in between my legs.

Matchup of the Day/Week

It's Friday, and that means there should be hot ladies on this page in order to be at full creep mode come 6 pm. Today I'm going to pit popular tv hotties. Emmanuelle Chriqui of Entourage fame vs. Olivia Wilde from House, M.D. Voting can be done on the right.

Emmanuelle Chriqui




Olivia Wilde




And by the way, Alessandra v. Adriana finished in a dead heat.

Top Cardinals Prospects

Doesn't Ballpark Village look awesome?

Figured some of you out there may be interested in this. Keith Law from ESPN ranked the top 100 prospects in all of baseball and I figured I'd give the Cardinals on the list. Last year he had Longoria as the #1, and we know how that ended up. Sorry if the formatting on this is messed up, but you get the basic idea. You can check it on ESPN for the full list, but you need insider.

RANK PLAYER POS. ORGANIZATION '08 RANK #AGE
12 Colby Rasmus CF St. Louis Cardinals
TOP '08 LEVEL: AAA (Memphis) 5 22
Don't hurt yourselves jumping off the Colby Rasmus bandwagon, OK? Rasmus played his entire injury-plagued 2008 season in Triple-A at age 21, and by the time he made a few adjustments and started hitting, he hit the disabled list twice and played just five more games before the season ended. (After an 0-for-22 stretch in mid-May, Rasmus hit .336/.444/.517 over 171 plate appearances until he hurt his groin on July 1.) The scouting report on Rasmus hasn't changed: He still has quick hands and gets the bat to the ball quickly, projects to have plus power, is an above-average runner, plays a solid center field, has the arm to play right, and shows a generally advanced feel for the game given his age. He also has a history of good plate discipline and solid contact rates. So, please, before you send him off in endless trade proposals, remind me again what's not to like here?

RANK PLAYER POS. ORGANIZATION '08 RANK #AGE
19 Brett Wallace 3B St. Louis Cardinals
TOP '08 LEVEL: AA (Springfield) IE 22
Wallace was the best pure hitter in this year's draft, but fell to the Cardinals due to questions about his ultimate position. He's playing third base right now, and the Cardinals intend to keep him there until he plays himself off it; he has plenty of arm and is fine on balls in front of him, but lacks lateral range … severely. Still, his bat is so special that if he can improve to just a win below average at third, he'll be a star. He makes hitting look easy -- he hits lefties (.387/.479/.484 in 62 at bats last year) and righties, all pitches, all areas of the zone, whatever's thrown at him -- and has pull power to right and doubles power the other way. Sure, his body type is unusual for a pro baseball player -- he has enormous thighs, but it's muscle, not fat, and emphasizing that only detracts attention from what really matters: Brett Wallace will hit.

RANK PLAYER POS. ORGANIZATION '08 RANK #AGE
50 Daryl Jones OF St. Louis Cardinals
TOP '08 LEVEL: AA (Springfield) UR 21
Jones is an incredible athlete who has developed rather quickly into a very good, if not outstanding, prospect.

He was -- to be kind -- atrocious in 2007, hitting just .217/.304/.296 in the Midwest League, then had offseason LASIK surgery and started to see the ball better, making more contact and showing better pitch recognition. He even carried his success forward to Double-A after a late-season promotion. Jones' only below-average tool is his arm; he's a plus runner, covers a lot of ground in center, has a good swing and shows line-drive power now with the promise of more to come.

He still has some mechanical kinks to work out in his swing -- in particular, he tends to glide and often leaves his hands far enough back that he starts to bar his front arm. His youth, his athleticism and his relative lack of baseball experience give him more chance to improve than most Double-A prospects have.

RANK PLAYER POS. ORGANIZATION '08 RANK #AGE
80 Chris Perez RHP St. Louis Cardinals
TOP '08 LEVEL: MLB UR 23

Perez has been tabbed as the Cardinals' closer of the future since he was drafted in 2006, but trouble throwing strikes has held him back, and it doesn't look as if he'll ever have plus control (although stranger things have happened with relievers before). Perez works with two pitches, a mid-90s fastball that will touch 96-97 and a hard slider with good depth in the mid-80s that will flatten out a little and become more cutter-like around 87-88. He tends to lead with his elbow, leaving him under his fastball and hurting his ability to repeat his delivery. His command is fringe-average and his control is below-average, and neither is likely to be better than average in the future, but his stuff is good and he is able to pitch to both sides of the plate with his fastball. That ability to miss bats and control the inner half of the plate should allow him to be a capable setup man or second-tier closer in the future.

This is Why Beer is Awesome

I would bet one million dollars (comparable in my world is $100) that we could get Uzi to do this.

That's Why He's President!

Really lady? They do what? I wonder if she even realized what she said.

Decent Buzzer Beater

I could have seen this happening to MU last night. Do you think Mike Anderson will ever learn how to milk the clock and keep the ball in bounds?

BREAKING NEWS - Aliens Running Wild in NBA

The NBA is apparently full of Aliens! We have already had confirmation that Shelden Williams is from another world, as described below. And now, Sam Cassell, and Charlie Villanueva have been confirmed by NASA and the Apollo program as real living aliens.




Who else in the NBA might be from another world?

Burn Notice Season 3 Starts Tonight

Now, I don't know if any of you have watched Burn Notice on USA, but it's a pretty good show. Season 3 starts tonight at nine on USA. If you haven't seen the show it's basically about a former spy (Michael Westen) who's been burned (basically he needs to be dead), and he's trying to figure out who burned him. B/c he's burned he has no bank accounts, credit cards, or home really. He makes money by doing other jobs for people, that can't involve the police. He does these jobs with his ex-girlfriend and ex-IRA operative Fiona, and Sam, Michael's closest friend in Miami (where he was left after being burned). Sam is an old military intelligence contact and he's also watching Michael for the feds, which Michael knows.

I actually haven't seen all of the episodes from season 1, but once you understand the basis of the show it's pretty easy to follow and still enjoyable. And, it doesn't hurt that Fiona is pretty sexy and likes to get dirty. I've been meaning to buy season 1 but I'm fat and lazy, and broke. Three very bad things when you want to get something done. But I have seen Season 2, and I'm pretty much down with what is going on. So don't let it being Season 3 deter you, if you haven't seen it and may want to.

I know what many of you are thinking, but what about ABDC? I agree, ABDC is a very entertaining show, but it provides no plot or entertainment comparable to BN. Also, MTV replays ABDC 87 times within it's first showing, so missing any of the sweet freezes is not going to happen.

Just a recommendation. And, despite being about spies and the things they can do and the things they know, it's much more realistic than Nip/Tuck!

Danger at Your Desk

J, I know you twirl your pen a lot. You better watch out if you're doing it by a lamp. It probably would have been wise to actually turn off the power to the lamp. Watch and you'll see why.

2Saves1Post.com

Saw this over at With Leather, and it's pretty fantastic.

Erin Andrews Is Not on AskMen's Top 99

But you know who is? #66 Holly Weber (I don't even know who she is but you should check her out, if your work allows scantily clad women with huge bombs). #49 Karolina Kurkova. #39 Stacy Keibler. #33 Denise Milani (Again, no clue who this is, but again huge volcanoes). #28 Gisele. #19 Adriana (This is a disgrace). #17 Selita Ebanks. #12 Emmauelle Chriqui. #6 Alessandra. #3 Marissa. #2 Megan Fox. #1? I should probably say go see for yourself, but screw it. It's Eva Mendes. This is a bit of a shocker, but I like the pick. With the newly inaugurated president it's good to have some ethnicity at the top spot. I also think her right tit could poke out an eye. Here's proof:

BREAKING NEWS

Shelden Williams is in fact an alien. Here he is seen screaming to the Neptonians while throwing down a monster jam.

Bill Self is a Liar and a Cheat

Bill Self had the audacity to shake hands with a recruit yesterday and is now facing scrutiny from the KU Athletic Department. Here! Here!

Self was watching the game of a highly touted prospect and afterward pushed through crowds, and disabled two security guards in order to get to this prized possession. Many were amazed at his stamina and sheer determination to only shake hands and utter these invaluable words, "I can't talk to you, but you played really well." What a prick! I hope the NCAA throws the book at him, putting KU on a downward spiral, securing their demise in the pits of hell. Hopefully they take ten-chin Mangino with them.

What a disgrace the KU Athletic Department is.

What Smells?

You know how many times I've considered putting cable in the shitter? Every time I've taken a dump, that's how many times.

OH MY F-ING GOD

Here is the Secret Service Yukon XL that follows the presidential limo. Here is what it come equiped with. Namely, the Dillon M134D Gatling Gun, a six barreled, electrically driven machine gun chambered in 7.62mm, capable of firing 4,000 rounds per minute. And get this, the bullets are laced with poison.

Keyboards are Useless

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

I want to know what The Onion's budget is, b/c this is ridiculous.

Dwayne Wade Likes to Fill Dumpsters

Apparently Dwayne Wade's not too attractive wife, is filing for divorce. She is citing among other things that he gave her an STD. The article said that it was not HIV or life threatening, but that it caused, "grievous physical, emotional and mental injury". They also say that his "paramour or paramours" are also liable. Me, being the down's syndrome baby that I was and am did not know what this meant. I thought Paramore was some Emo band; but with a quick dictionary.com search I came to find out paramour is an illicit lover. This is why, if you are a Superstar in any area, you do NOT marry your high school "sweetheart". There isn't a chance in hell that you wouldn't be sleeping around if you had thousands of hotter women throw themselves at you. Now, if my "Sweetheart" was the previously mentioned Adriana Lima, I probably wouldn't need to be adulterous b/c I could just recreate our trysts with a little imagination and KY.

Dwayne Wade, you probably had this coming. I'm sure his future ex, had or has something clearable, but she is just bringing it up to get millions upon millions of dollars. Women are evil. She had probably been planning this out since high school. I don't know if I can blame her though, I'd take the clap to be financially free for eternity. I do hate her though b/c this bia is actually asking for the names of all his sexual partners in their six year relationship. Apparently, to determine who passed on the little bugger, and sue her too. Wade, has been rumored to be hooking up with Gabrielle Union and Kelly Rowland. I bet they are sitting in the waiting room right now.

To top things off, the 2007 "Father of the Year", by the National Father's Day Committee, is being cited as a poor dad to his children. His wife claims that his one year old baby does not recognize him, and said some other dumb shi* that doesn't make sense.

I don't believe anything this lady is saying. She is crazy. In the list I would put only one name, hers, and then counter sue her for passing an STD to me. That'd be baller!

Joke

After her fifth child, Mary decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her bomb doors were dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed kebab. Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.

"Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them."

"Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks".

"Ahhh, that's really nice!" said Mary.

"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!".

"Brilliant!" said Mary. "And the third?".

"That's from John in the burns unit", said the nurse. "He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears!"

Drinking Game

several of you have probably seen this article, but i just read it today and its hilarious.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3831916

if he had only seen drunk ball....

Some More "David Blaine"

You may have already seen these, being that they're about a year old, but I just came across them and found them pretty funny. It helps that the two guys in the street are exceptionally effeminate. I don't know if they, or the Blaine stare are better.

Mike Tyson Documentary

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2009/01/15/james-tobacks-tyson-documentary-debuts-at-sundance-get-your-first-look-here/

Saw this over on FilmDrunk. I don't know if this video will load properly, if not just copy and paste the link if interested. Apparently there is a documentary of Mike Tyson premiering at Sundance. Is it just me or does Mike Tyson seem dumber? I don't know if it's possible, but I think he took too many shots to the head. I'm sure this film is going to be pretty interesting, but if they are using interviews with Tyson as the majority of it, I don't think I could sit there for an hour and a half without pulling out my hair.

So, I did a bit of research, and no. He's always been that dumb... and scary. I feel your pain Mike.

Matchups of the Day

I think if you read the below post you would conclude that I would make the match up of the day. It looks as they will come every Friday and these match ups may basically come down to famous guy's exes and current girlfriends. This one is Mariah vs. Selita. I'll even give Mariah the benefit of the doubt and say you have to vote for the "hot" Mariah. Circa 1994. Yes, she's that old.

Mariah Carey



Selita Ebanks



And this next matchup is a little different. Which husband brings down their wife's looks more? Based on sheer hideousness or douchebagedness these two are something else. I have no clue how they got the two hottest women in the world. This pits Marissa Miller and her husband against Adrianna Lima and hers.

Marissa and her Wanna-be Rocker

Adrianna and her Goblin


Just for Joseph, I'm going to add a monster of a matchup. Adriana vs. Alessandra. These two could be finalists but they are meeting in the first round! Wow. I'm going to put the best pics up of both I can find, to appease Joe.

Alessandra








Adriana








And Finally